The AA Blog

I know most of these sites and can say that they’re genuine AA blogs; keep their stuff up to date and all; still, I really like the AA blog a lot…P

Alcoholics Anonymous
How many of you have spent years adhering to the current customs of AA without feeling as though you have achieved anything real? How many of you have attended countless meetings in AA, heard the same anecdotes reiterated over and over and over by the same people who, by virtue of their “rank” associated with the roman numerals stamped on a coin that they have been given, have assumed positions of authority in your groups and taken advantage of their imagined seniority in order to feed their own ambitions for recognition and esteem from a captive audience? How many of you are afraid to deviate from what hundreds, perhaps thousands, of AA members have taught you because you are afraid that large numbers of people can’t be wrong, also because you believe there is no safe alternative?

Welcome to the alternative, the real AA.

For our intents and purposes, let us pretend that the year is 1939. It is the Great Depression. There is no one alive who can give us all the answers. We have only each other. We have a theory that alcoholism is a disease rather than an immoral choice; but our families, estranged friends, exasperated employers and the American public at large doesn’t agree with us. We are outcasts and public enemies. We meet in secret. We don’t even trust each other a great deal with good reasons. We are eager to find a way to work together without causing each other any further difficulties.

We are so secretive that we avoid each other strenuously in our daily lives. We seldom acknowledge each other in public, protect our families, don’t work together, have no desire to date one another whatsoever, though we do on occasion decide to bridge the gap of anonymity and become friends. This is just as rare, however, as in mainstream society. We are lucky to make one or two good friends amid a large group of anonymous acquaintances, as is the case generally in any group.

We seldom offer even minimal assistance other than tried and true suggestions based upon our actual experience in solving the problems that face us in our recovery and in the progress of our daily lives. We have found these suggestions to be much more valuable than any temporary attempts to solve our personal problems by offering food, money, shelter or intervening in any personal affairs.

We trust each other implicitly because we don’t mix outside of these secret meetings in any way, because we are all anonymous, because it is the spiritual foundation upon which are secret society is built. We have no reason to mislead each other in any way, attempt to gain popularity, take advantage of each other or damage each others’ reputations because we simply do not mix our private lives with AA or try to tell any other member how to work the AA program. We simply share in a general way such problems that arise in our lives and ask for suggestions from others who have had proven results by working their own program privately. Likewise, when someone shares about a problem in his or her life in a general way, those of us who have good suggestions to make based upon our own proven experience may share them in a general way. Ultimately the AA program, how it works, each person’s concept of God, any alternative means used by any AA members to find the “plane of inspiration” and solve a variety of problems in everyday living, is a very, very private affair and does not need to be discussed.

What you do, whom you associate with outside of these secret meetings doesn’t concern us, only how you have solved a myriad of problems that accompany everyday life for a recovering alcoholic who is obliged to stand on his own, perhaps for the first time in his or her life, and face life on life’s terms.

I will not share my name. I will not share the length of time I have been (or haven’t been) sober. I will never share anything with you pertaining to my personal life unless the parties concerned, the place and times of the events are completely obscured, sharing only in a general way. I will not discuss my concept of God ever. I will not philosophize about or attempt to teach you how to utilize the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. I will never quote any literature that has been labeled “AA approved”. If you have read the books and pamphlets you are as competent as I am in applying the suggestions therein toward your own set of problems.

Ultimately I can not teach you how to help yourself. If you have been a member of just about any AA group at large in the 21st Century and have the capacity to be honest with yourself, you will have to admit that successive attempts to rely heavily upon another member’s judgement with regard to how the program works, regardless of how long they have attended AA meetings and worked with others, have rarely born fruit. You will have to admit that you have often felt restless, irritable and discontent while attempting to rely too heavily upon a “senior” member’s advice rather than becoming more self-reliant, results oriented, sometimes seriously questioning the sanity of those around you in great numbers who appear to be more content on the surface, and who are eager to assert their opinions upon you in an attempt to reassure themselves that they have some measure of control over their own insecurities.

The answer to that question in the deep recesses of your mind about whether AA in the 21st Century is quite a bit like the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, that a vast majority of your AA peers are naked when they assume they are putting up a grand facade, that the majority of the traditions that evolve through anecdote and become time honored institutions in AA are based upon insanity, is that your misgivings are normal and correct. Never fear. It is alright to come to that conclusion. It is rigorous honesty. In fact, it’s the first step in becoming able to declare yourself a “recovered” alcoholic rather merely conforming for all the wrong reasons.

If you have absolutely no one else to speak to in whom you trust, you may confide in me with regard to the details on your fearless and searching inventory; but please do not share real names, places, times, nor any details which I might recognize, especially about mutual acquaintances. You don’t have to be so specific, embarass us both, place us both in any awkward position re people we know in common, in order to achieve the desired results. There are perhaps much better people to speak to with regard to specifics if you feel you must share them rather than sharing in a general way, such as a trusted closed mouth friend (someone familiar with the real people, places and events in your life already and proven trustworthy), a minister or priest, or perhaps a therapist. The truth is that I would prefer you remain anonymous with me.

It’s the Great Depression, and everyone is having a hard time. We are worse off, and it is really going to take a miracle for us to recover since we are so much further behind the eight ball even than healthy people who are making the right choices and working hard only to wind up in bread and soup lines, frequently unemployed through no fault of their own. We have have to be serious, honest, real, respectful of our tradition of anonymity. Soon the whole world will be at war; and those of us who have achieved some fragile sobriety and begun the long and difficult climb back into the good graces of our peers will have to maintain that through the horrors of Normandy and Iwo Jima, for example. Those of us who survive and stay sober through these tremendously trying times hope that it may be said of us that we served honorably rather than retreating into the darkness from which we came.

Sincerely,

Anonymous