Jealousy

By Gaby Dunn

My daughter who is a professional wrote this. She writes for publications like the NY Times, Good Men Project, Tribe Vibe, Fandango and Thought Catalog. She developed her own project a little over a year ago, http://100interviews.com/, which is a compilation of interviews she did of people she would never have experienced unless she went looking for them. She also has her own blog, http://gabydunn.com/, that are observations and comments on society and her life. She has grown in ways that amaze her because of these experiences. This is one of her realizations. Love You Do.

I am the most jealous person in the world. It’s never over something as frivolous as boyfriends or love though.
More than anything, I’m supremely jealous of my friends’ professional accomplishments. It’s a huge problem in my life and something I realized I really needed to work on. It’s not fun being so petty all the time.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy for my friends who are successful. But every article published, every movie role landed, every show booked, every book deal acquired makes my hands wring together. I’m smiling, but I’m also murderous. Like the Joker fused with Lady MacBeth, except more crazy.

The big thing is that I’m wrong. I don’t have to be jealous of my friends because all their success means is that I have the best, most talented friends in the world. I’ve started making a conscious effort to change the way I see other people’s accomplishments. Whatever good things happen to other people don’t belittle or change what I’m up to. It’s not a scale; it doesn’t take away from me, if someone I know succeeds.

Success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s generally a group of really talented people who all find each other in some way — the British invasion, the Beat poets, 90s comedians, 1920’s expatriate writers in Paris, the artists of the Renaissance, East Coast/West Coast rappers.

Instead of going with my instinct to tear people down, I’m pushing myself to lift them up, to make an effort to work together, to support other successful people in my life.

This is something I have to constantly remind myself to do, but it’s really been worth it for my psyche and self-esteem.
Game recognize game, guys. All it means when the people I know succeed is that I know some pretty awesome people.