Anyone can write whatever they choose about spiritual matters and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and form of worship, belief or ceremony. Ancient sacred Tribal rituals however, are another matter. American Indian Creation stories and language translations very often appear poorly represented in the public media as individuals retell them who are sadly misinformed. As the result, many indigenous peoples become less likely to share ceremonies with outsiders. We may feel inspired to share only in a general way, about the gratitude we feel for our culture and heritage without revealing particular sacred aspects of the ancient ceremonies. We do this because of some of the horrible misunderstandings that have occurred throughout history. The spirituality of our ancestors is not a fantasy world and neither does some native people experience the dreams and visions. Many of us hold a deep and reverent respect the workings of the Creator in our everyday lives.

When we attend 12-step meetings we often hear people describe various spiritual experiences, from a variety of religions or belief systems. There are hundreds of different types of Christianity, Judaism, native and many others. They are all good. None are wrong. We do not criticize the faith of anyone. We respect each other. We are grateful when anyone feels the presence of a loving Power that can keep them clean and sober. Our text reminds us that the book was written for the purpose of helping us find a Power greater then ourselves that can solve our problems.

An Ojibwa professor at Bemidji State University, Anton Truer, says, “The Great Spirit is both male and female and more, a force beyond our full comprehension.” I agree with his description for my own concept of a loving Higher Power but do not deny the concepts of others, no matter how different they sound to me. I have learned the value of open-mindedness and look for the similarities, rather than the differences between others and myself. This attitude makes it possible for me to know that spirituality is not fantasy, but rather the reigning grace of a loving God shared equally by everyone in recovery. Any of us who believe we can recover this way are truly blessed. We have made that impossible leap from the seemingly hopeless state of body, mind and spirit, to standing securely within the sunlight of the Spirit.

Website Link: http://frandancingfeather.com/fantasy/

In retrospect, I don’t remember ever saying to myself; I just want to run my own life, God, so butt out. But in reality, that’s how I was living. One decision at a time, I was taking charge of my own life and controlling things to suit me. I was putting my own ideas and my own thinking into action.

Being candid here, I thought it was being responsible; I was stepping up to the plate. I was taking charge, being invested and being smart, even. I was accomplishing things that were on my goal list, wasn’t I? What’s so wrong with that?

Just count the number of times I’ve used I or implied I in the previous paragraph. Yup. I, I, I…

That’s the problem. Its called playing God. (I had no clue.)

The way out was to get a clue by examining my thought process. I thought I was supposed to be in charge of my own life, so I was. Look where that got me: drunk and suicidal.

My way of thinking is what got me on the wrong path. My self-will took me further and further down a destructive trail towards an inevitable dead end.
It was going to take a flat-out decision on my part to remedy my predicament, my self-willed life, before I prematurely ended it.

I finally hurt enough to make this flat-out decision. The motivator was the pain. The pain is why I was lying flat out on the carpet in an empty room at the Fellowship Club. Without the crippling pain, I never would have made the decision. I know there are people who don’t have to reach such a crisis point to make this decision, but I’m the kind that does.

Maybe it’s the Irish redheaded stubbornness in me. Maybe it’s the German bull-headedness. Maybe it’s the 4th of July birthday. Who cares? I’m just so thankful I finally flat-out decided to take Step 3.

If my life was the result of bull-headed wrong thinking and stubborn wrong action, then I could have a remarkably different life by taking Step 3 seriously. Step 3 bears careful reading, and not just because I’m an English major, either.

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.”

As Joe and Charlie say, “We don’t turn anything over to God in Step 3. We make a decision to do something in Step 3, and the decision itself implies we’re going to take some further action to carry it out.”

Read Heidi’s Blog: http://goodlifenoalcohol.wordpress.com/

For those of us in recovery from addictions, fear seems to have a special place in our lives. The literature of recovery and much of the prevailing wisdom speaks constantly about fear and how our lives are “shot through with it.” There is actually research showing that two of the areas of the brain affected by (or perhaps causative of) addiction are the amygdala, specifically, and the overall limbic system, of which the amygdala is a part as well as the prefrontal cortex, the primary decision-making center and most evolved part of the brain.

I was driving in my car through downtown St. Paul many years ago and well into my own recovery from addiction, and I was experiencing an inordinate amount of fear. Anxiety. Panic. Call it what you will — they are all members of the same family. I cannot even remember what it was about. I do remember the insight. Up until that point, it had been so difficult for me to admit that I was feeling afraid. Not because I was not aware that I was feeling fear. No, I was well aware of the fear that would regularly visit me. In fact, for the last several years, I had even become accustomed to talking about that fear with a select group of men and women, privately and usually in the basement of some church. In those groups fear was not only respected, it was expected – even from men! I could admit it to the people in those basements more easily than I could admit it to myself, because I knew they would not make fun of me for having it.

Over the years I have heard from men in recovery from all walks of life who — when they are able to be gut-wrenchingly honest — talk about how much of their lives have been spent in fear. Former drug-dealer turned patent attorney. CEO of a national criminal justice organization. Former bodyguard for a smalltime Chicago “businessman.” Priest. Judge. Real estate magnate. Teacher. Psychiatrist. Nurse. Musician. Author. The list goes on, ad infinitum. Most of these men spent an inordinate amount of time focused on trying to show themselves and the rest of the world that they were not afraid. And so we all walked around thinking that none of us were feeling fear — and, in truth, it was killing us and all of our relationships.

Remember those stickers that used to be everywhere, most often on those big trucks that most people need a stepladder to get into: No FEAR! They shouted to anyone driving close enough to them: I AM A REAL MAN! The words in ominous writing meant to further communicate how much we, men, don’t want to — no, shouldn’t — have any fear in our lives. Of course I have come to realize that some of the most fearful men are the ones driving around the big trucks with stickers saying “No FEAR” on them.

If you are like I was and have aspirations of someday being fearless – as in not experiencing fear – that day, sadly, will never arrive. But, if you instead wish to simply fear less, well, that is available to you any time. The only catch: you have to be willing to acknowledge that the fear is there and for many men that can feel tantamount to admitting they are not men.

Today it seems easier for me to see other men’s fear, probably because I have become so intimately acquainted with my own fear. My relationship with this emotion is one that has become mostly amicable — I notice its presence and respect it, but have made it clear it is not going to run my life anymore. As is the case with so many things, in recognizing and facing my fear, it has much less power over me. So go ahead and do it, get honest about your fears — what are you afraid of?

Dan’s Blog: http://dangriffin.com/

The only thing that calmed me was going to meetings and reading the AA book. That’s why I sometimes went to 13 meetings a week. Life was too scary outside the rooms. I still didn’t want to ‘say the words of one who kneels’.

Step 3 for me actually started between two meetings. I went to the sunrise 7 o’clock meeting at the Fellowship Club. As with all newly sober alcoholics, I was experiencing agonizingly raw feelings that previously I had numbed. That morning both rage and fear gripped my mind and paralyzed me as soon as I left the corner meeting room.

Avoiding the coffee club in the hallway, I ducked into the first empty room and shut the door. I curled up in the corner and cried, before lying down prostrate * on the carpet. It didn’t smell good. I remember that. My life stunk and it felt right to be there, though.

I cried and I prayed. I gave up. Gave it all up. I was done trying to control, trying to make sense of my life. I made a decision that day. Come whatever, I wanted God to control my life. There was not one thing I was withholding from Him any longer. I gave up. The decision was made.

Admittedly, I had no idea of the cost, the process or the outcome of taking Step 3, but I had the heart for it. I had trust that He could and would help me out of the mess that was my life.

I made a decision, once and for all to do whatever the program prescribed. I was going to take the Steps, and take them like my life depended upon it, because that was true. It did. I was done trying to do it my way. And those are the words of one who kneels.

PS: What was your theme song?

* I was a drama coach while I taught high school English, so while this didn’t seem overly dramatic for me, it wouldn’t fit for most people.

Good Life: http://goodlifenoalcohol.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/step-3-part-3-decided-to-stop-singing-i-did-it-my-way/

What Bill Wilson originally penned and what ended up coming off the presses as the text-book for AA does differ, slightly. Sometimes editing changes are insignificant; sometimes they change the tone and blur the passion, if not the intent, of the author.

You may have read the following sentence before, if you’ve studied the history of the Big Book, but it’s no longer in the pages of our text. It not only gives us a clue to Bill’s forceful personality, but also sums up his convictions concerning the principles of AA. I laughed out loud when I heard it.

If you aren’t convinced of these vital issues, you ought to reread the book to this point or else throw it away!

Amen! I would have loved to have met the guy.

What he meant by vital issues is on page 60 following the 12 Steps:

a. That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
b. That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism
c. That God could and would if He were sought

Bill’s suggestion of re-reading the book up to this point for those who are not convinced of the ABCs, is not a blustery attempt at humor. The statistics of alcoholism are on the rise and the demographics have broadened dramatically since the first publication of the text in 1939.

We alcoholics are fighting for our lives, or else in a gesture of defeat, we’re drinking ourselves into an early grave. There’s no riding the fence for an alcoholic. To drink is to give up; to drink is to die or slowly become brain-damaged and disabled first, and then die a tragic alcoholic death. I’ve met a lot of sober alcoholics that quit drinking for the sole reason that they didn’t want to die like that.*

Of course, there’s another option. We can just put the cork in the jug and live an emotionally crippled life without the numbing effects of alcohol but with the craziness of alcoholic thinking. We can choose to be a dry drunk, going on emotional binges and isolating ourselves while we nurse our grudges and focus on maintaining our pride, refusing to change. This is not recovery.

On the other hand, to believe that the ABC’s are true, means that we can look forward to learning new ways; changing our lives, walking forward with hope and help, and into new solutions for living.

It’s a choice. We can choose to remain victims of alcohol by volunteering for the role of victim and continuing to drink; or we can discover a better way of living by assessing the reality of our situation and taking the 12 Steps to recover.

It’s not quite as easy as my quick summary sounds, but it’s not real complicated, either. It’s simple…very simple. It’s not easy.

It all starts with the ABC’s. Elementary. It’s so foundational that a recovery without using the ABC’s is not the recovery Bill had in mind. I don’t know about you but my definition of recovery is his. I couldn’t have my recovery without these. It would be like writing a post without being able to use A or B or C. For me, it wouldn’t work. Without them, I would have given up. Many do.

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Alcoholics Anonymous, 2012, p 60

PS:If you want to pull back the curtain of grief that is alcohol, I would suggest you take a look at Danger-alcohol, a post by a young woman who fights daily to become a survivor of alcoholic grief.

Re-Blogged from: http://goodlifenoalcohol.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/step-3-part-2-abcs-of-aa/

We were committed. The fire had been lit at sunset that would burn throughout the deepest, coldest and longest night of the year. It was the Solstice time when we would honor the frozen earth. We were committed to stand barefoot on the icy ground around the fire and pray. These are ancient scared rites and if they are done properly, no one suffers but all are renewed by the experience of the ceremony. Holy herbs are offered and burned as we sing in a language that is nearly forgotten in the modern world. We were near the top of the sacred mountain where the Creator is known as the “Greatness of All Things”. We were sober natives from various Tribes and we made our prayers in the wilderness where we would remain unobserved by outsiders. The purpose of our prayers was for the next seven generations of the keepers of the mother earth, to have the strength to endure the coldest winds of winter and keep our traditions alive. They were also for our elders to survive this year’s winter purification and for our ancestors who have gone before us.

Winter is the time for storytelling. We pass on those stories from our ancestors to our children and grandchildren. They help us to know who we are and why we are here. We re-tell Creation stories about how our people came into this world. We tell personal stories and some funny stories. An old woman told me that storytelling is a dying art. Before she died, Margaret told me to keep storytelling alive for the children. Tell these things in an animated way with different voices for every animal and sound effects. Do not be afraid to be animated because this way the stories will be remembered. They will entertain the listeners. The elders told them around the central fire in the longhouse where the family gathered during the long winter nights to stay warm. The extended family was drawn close to each other in this loving way. The elders were magical in their storytelling. Some of the stories were about healing herbs or animals or beings who crossed into other dimensions to find answers for the villagers. The stories contained very descriptive accounts of sights, sounds, smells and other sensations so the listeners could really see and feel the lessons contained in them. It was like watching a good movie to hear these stories. They inspired in us the desire to paint the characters, or write songs and poetry to express our love of the characters who came to life for us on those cold long winter nights. The best stories had moral teachings woven between the lines so they were educational as well as being a great way to keep warm and pass the time.

In recovery we learn to tell stories of experience, strength and hope to inspire each other to stay sober. It’s how we carry the message to others. These stories also carry a moral lesson between the lines. It is the most important lesson we can learn. Our stories make us into an extended family of sorts, who loves and cares for one another. Our personal winter solstice was the end of our drinking, the darkest and longest night of the soul. If we survive that dark cold time then every day afterwards we are heading for the renewal of springtime and new life. Getting sober is like standing barefoot on the frozen ground unafraid of the future because we are now resting in the loving hands of our Creator. We trust the process; the purification and healing that come from patience and tolerance and moves us into happy, joyous freedom. We are not afraid of our pain and we enter into it with the courage to change. The stories of others who have made it through the dark night guide us like a light through the fear and unknowing. We learn to trust each other and eventually tell the stories of the steps that are lit by the adventures of our own experience. My Grandpa said the meeting was like the ancient council fire where the people came together for healing and wonderful things came to pass for them and countless others.

Link to website: http://frandancingfeather.com/solstice/

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves, which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.

If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination, which requires definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers, which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works – it really does.

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.

But this is not all. There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve.

http://frandancingfeather.com/

The icy cold dawn kisses my cheeks with the blush of the
Winter Purification. Bundled tight in snow gear, I walk fast to the upper mesa. Heavy dark clouds hide the sunrise and morning barely glows awake with the threat of a blizzard. Occasional shafts of purple illuminate the road and what is left of the dead leaves of sycamore and mulberry. Ah, the ever-living pines that grace the top of the trail are silhouetted black instead of green against steel colored sky. My heart pounds with the accelerated walking, my commitment to a strong durable winter body. I will prevail over the cold months and honor the purification time. Slim and seemingly delicate deer pass by bounding through the brush. Long ago my ancestors lived in longhouses in the northeastern woodlands without forced-air heating or memory-foam beds. They hunted the fat deer and elk and walked everywhere. We are made for walking and honoring the seasons, whatever they may bring. We were made to respect the mother earth and all her passing moods of change

It is our heritage to be a strong people, durable and at peace with the natural world. I defy the comfort of my home and face the morning with the courage of my recovery. Ravens sit atop power poles and laugh at the weakness of humanity and the brokenness and alcoholism in Indian Country. When the great huge black birds are quiet, their silence whispers of mysticism and the sacred healing ceremonies of the ancients. They are scavengers and yet beautiful and strong. There is no doubt they will find food today. At the top I rest and catch my breath for just a moment, allowing the human soul to explore the hidden canyons across the valley. Along the creek below, golden light glows in the windows of the homes of the early waking village. An old truck rumbles reluctantly along the river road.

Our disease of addiction is the purifying and sanctification of the human soul. It is the mystery of new creation and the continuing cycle of enlightenment. Like the frozen season, it brings us to the place of darkness and cold mortality. We find ourselves living the shortest and darkest day of our lives in our powerlessness. As we struggle into a spiritual renewal, through the steps, we begin the journey to the springtime of our consciousness. No longer numbed by our substances of choice, we become naked before the truth of our wounded-ness. We are like the tiny buds of new growth who await the sunshine of the spirit beneath the sheltering bark of the tree of life. What will be ahead for us? Will fear prevent us from bursting forth into the light or will we let life carry us to new exciting adventures, where we weep all our tears and laugh all our laughter? Will we answer the call to altruism and unselfishness or will we wither, relapse and die to become the dark rotting earth of yesteryear? We are finally faced with a decision, to choose either Life or Death. And so we choose life and emerge from our cocoon and enjoy the clean and sober freedom of recovery. We are purified in the most profound way of all—faith and fellowship.

Whether we are dealing with an addiction to some negative substance, or whether we are struggling with a crisis or challenge, at some point in our lives, we all cry out from the depths of our souls.
Unfortunately, life is too full of moments when we acutely feel, God, I just can’t.
At those moments, we need to be able to find within ourselves the comforting words: God, You can. Please help!