Thank you Oscar for coming forward.

From an interview with Teresa Rodriguez

Three months ago, to everyone’s surprise, former boxing champion Oscar de la Hoya confirmed that he    had checked into a treatment center to battle addiction. Almost immediately speculative reports about addiction to alcohol, drugs, even sex, began to swirl.

Since that shocking day, De la Hoya has spoken to Teresa Rodriguez, host of Univision’s ‘Aqui y Ahora (Here and Now)’ to open up publicly about his decision to hide his alcohol addiction, which began at 9 years old, from fans, friends, even family, and his abuse of cocaine, which he began two years ago. De la Hoya also shared how his wife, Millie Corretjer, and their five children, forced the boxing champion to cling to life. Here we share what boxing’s once “Golden Boy” confessed to the journalist, and the world.

“It was my secret. I felt so invincible just drinking and doing those bad things … But I also found myself crying and feeling alone. I acknowledged my addiction. I come from very good values and a good family. That monster that grew strength came from within me.”

“At 9 years old I started drinking. At times there are family parties. The men are with the men and the women are in the kitchen. My uncles would say, ‘let’s ask Oscar to bring us some beer,’ I’d go and open the beer, have just a taste, and they wouldn’t scold me for it. After 20 to 30 times of making that trip to the refrigerator, I was drunk.”
“My mom did scold me, hit me, but I thought it would be the last time.

However, it wasn’t, and that’s how it was for many years. I came to need it. Because I was an athlete, I didn’t drink every day, only when I could and when I could hide it. And that’s how my life was for many years. There was a void that was eating at me inside. And that was the love and affection that a child needs from his mother, his father.”

“On many occasions I would cancel fights, or I would fake injury so that I wouldn’t have to fight because I was out partying. I needed it by choice. At times I would drink a tequila before a fight, and as an athlete you can’t do that. This addiction ruined me. All the while, I would hide to do these things.

No one knew anything. I never did it in front of friends, not even my family, no one. It was my secret. To try to maintain a business, be a father, husband. I was sick and tired of having to keep up the lie after partying the night before with friends, only to arrive at 3 or 4 in the morning, then go run at 5, was difficult. At 23 one could do that, but by 32 I noticed a physical change as a result of alcohol.”

“I’m very ashamed to say, but I did fall into drug use. It happened about two years ago, and I almost died. The cocaine, the partying, my supposed friends … It was a very bad life. I didn’t want to think about my kids, my wife, my family. I just wanted to party in my addiction.”

“In 2009 I overdosed on cocaine and alcohol and wound up hospitalized. They didn’t say anything. I figured they would give me some medication and that I’d be released. I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but I couldn’t continue. I was going to end up dead, or in jail.”

“I got out of work, called Millie at 1 in the morning, crying, with a bottle of tequila in my hand, telling her that I didn’t know why I was doing this. She told me to throw away the bottle. I came home and slept in another bedroom. The next morning, Millie was at the stairs. I approached her and said, ‘I’m done. I can’t do this anymore …’ I was tired of asking her for forgiveness all the time. I said to her ‘I’m leaving. I’m going to do this for me because I have to’ and I checked myself in.”
“I remember that when I entered the center, for the first days, I didn’t want to be there. I was having second thoughts. The monster that used to wait for me at the first door to my house was talking to me again. During the first days they let you rest and give you many medications to sleep, then the process begins after three or four days. It’s a 30-day program, but I stayed an additional three weeks because I didn’t feel I was ready. I was afraid to walk out that [rehab] door. I felt so safe in the center. I don’t know what it’s like to be in heaven, but that’s how it felt to me. Everyone wanted to be your friend, truly your friend.”

“I’m super in love with her. She’s the love of my life. There’s not another woman I could ever think of and I love her with all my heart.

I don’t want to talk details but, yes, I was unfaithful, but I want to take this opportunity to say: “Please, forgive me …’ because we’re, I don’t want to say we’re fine, but Millie is a very good person and it hurts me a lot …

We separated for a time. I was coming to the house to visit my kids. We were trying to work it out for our kids. There was a point where she had her attorneys, she was ready. But she very much believes in God, in [the sanctity] of marriage, and thank God she forgave me.

I made her suffer a great deal and really, I’m very thankful that she stayed by my side. We’re both going to therapy, both individually and together, but it’s not easy because every day I have to work to show her that I want a life with her.”

“Yes, it was me … I’m tired of lying about it, of lying to everyone including myself. In the photo I was under the influence of alcohol and drugs. It was the first time I did that. I now know that I need the alcohol more than the drugs, but I got involved in some very bad things. There were women, drugs, alcohol. That’s all true. I’m remembering everything now because I think

Those nights when I was drunk and on my own, I asked myself, ‘Is it really worth continuing to live?,’ and then your kids come to mind, your wife and those that love you. I’m incapable of doing something like that, but I did think about it.”

“Now, I honestly feel as though I was born again. I’m living day by day. And I feel better than ever. I’ve abstained from drinking for 109 days and from cocaine for 110. I thank God that my mom is taking care of me. That’s how I feel. If she were alive, things would’ve never gotten to that point. She would’ve straightened me out with the famous sandal. It would’ve been a different life. Addiction is going to be the hardest fight of my life. Day and night I feel as though someone from above gave me a second chance in life, and I’m going to take care of it to be a better person. This is sort of like training for a fight that never comes.”

Our founders stressed that we had to seek out others afflicted with our disease and tell them how we did it; our hands always have to open to receive newcomers. “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety” according to the pre-amble of Alcoholics Anonymous.

There is also the suggestion that an alcoholic has to hit bottom and want help. It is believed that we can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. An addict cannot be forced to quit, seek help or change their life unless they are willing. We say the three requirements to stay sober are willingness, honesty and open-mindedness, without them we may be sober for a period time, but we will drink again. Of course with AA, there is also the spiritual component: we have to find a Power greater than ourselves.

What is the “tipping point”? Where do we draw the line? Do we let someone find his or her bottom, or do we intervene? When is it OK to step in and try to help someone who is obviously self-destructing? Do they have to be institutionalized? Do we wait until they have a near death experience? I was taught that our principles in recovery teach us to love our fellows, and to me love is not looking away and waiting to be asked for it.

In the chapter I referred to earlier it is explained to us that we are to involve the family, approach the alcoholic and relate stories about us that he or she can identify with and offer a solution. We are not to cram it down their throats, but open the conversation, let them know that they are not alone and that there is a solution.

Personally, I have been conducting meetings at the county jail for men incarcerated because of criminal activity relating to drugs or alcohol. They don’t ask me to come and speak to them; the Sheriff’s Dept. and the Courts have mandated that they be part of a recovery program during their incarceration. Does this insure their sobriety after they are released, absolutely not? It does expose them to a different way of living as told to them by people just like them who are free and have changed their life.

I believe we need to more pro-active in helping others. It is the 21^st century and we are way past going around to hospitals and asking the local psyche doctor if he has any patients suffering from alcoholism who we can talk to. The general population is aware of AA, NA and all the others; it is time to educate them about who we are and what we do because that is not as well known.

I don’t know if Amy Winehouse could have been saved by an intervention; but I do know this she died without one.

I’ve given plenty of examples that describe intentions wrapped in ego. Let me end with a wonderful example of intentions that include a healthy sense of self. The more I understand of the life of Betty Ford who passed away this past week, the more impressed I am. She was a true super hero in the mold of Wonder Woman. After dealing with her own demons, she set the intention to make a difference in other people’s lives. You would think that having the highest profile drug and alcohol treatment center in the country named after you might be an ego trip.

On the contrary, apparently she agreed to her name being associated only reluctantly. In fact, it was a matter of accountability for her. She said this, “The center’s name has been burden, as well as honor. Because even if nobody else holds me responsible, I hold myself responsible.”

I like to believe that so many people have been helped by Betty Ford and her treatment center because she set healthy intentions to begin with, and did so with a healthy sense of self and a desire to genuinely empower people in their recovery just as she was empowered.

What are your bold intentions for yourself and the world? Whether you set large scale intentions like treatment centers or whether it’s the intention to live in more peaceful relationships or the personal intention to live with greater balance, get your ego out of the way and get on with the business of being the change you want to see in the world. Participate in the raising of a global intention, galvanizing the collective power of millions of kindred spirits, to bring healing to the world, one person, one community and one nation at a time. There is an abundance of the resources that matter most. Together we have the power to transform entire systems for the greater good of all of humanity, for generations to come.

Copyright 2010 by Ian Lawton. All rights reserved.

It was a late night in Beverly Hills, California for Richie Supa and the gang at InTheRooms.com as they eagerly awaited the announcement of the 2009 Prism Awards “Song of the Year”.

The annual Prism Awards recognizes excellence in music, television and movies in the realm of addiction, recovery and mental health.

Richie Supa performed “In The Rooms” live at the awards ceremony which took place Thursday, April 23rd at the Beverly Hotel. Everyone in attendance also received a free C.D. of “In The Rooms”, along with a registration card for www.InTheRooms.com.

Other 2009 PRISM Award Winners Include:

Performance in a Feature Film:
Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
(Sony Pictures Classics / Clinica Estetico)

Original DVD:
Flashbacks of a Fool
(Left Turn Films / LipSynch Productions / Anchor Bay Entertainment)

TALK SHOW EPISODE:
Dr. Phil – “The Bridge”
(CBS Paramount Domestic Television / Peteski Productions)

COMIC BOOK STORYLINE:
The Alcoholic
(Vertigo / DC Comics)

For a full list of 2009 Prism Award winners and categories check out the Prism Awards online at www.PrismAwards.com. If you want to hear the Award-Winning song by Richie Supa, “In The Rooms”, check out www.InTheRooms.com. Want to get to know Richie Supa? Check out his profile at www.InTheRooms.com/RichieSupa