:The AA Blog

Spiritual masters understood that a spirituality that begins in the acceptance that one is not “in control” necessarily involves a flexible attitude, which requires a mistrust of the rigidities of certainty. If life is “unmanageable” and, of course, at times it is-there will necessarily be sudden surprises, unexpected twists and turns, unforeseen detours. In recognizing spirituality’s (life’s) open-endedness, we learn to be flexible and adaptable, thus protecting ourselves from the tendency to want to fix things “once and for all.” Hold fast to the “now” means “hang on and enjoy the ride,” for we never know (and we can’t control) where the unexpected changes of the pilgrimage that is spirituality will take us.

The Spirituality of Imperfection

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From Ian Lawton:

It ultimately comes down to what you expect from fellowship. Do you expect to be spoon fed answers, or do you see fellowship as a place to share wisdom? Does fellowship shrink your life by making you tribal, or does fellowship expand your life by taking you out beyond your own perspective?

Alice Walker wrote in The Color Purple:

Tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for [God] to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.

If a religious fellowship is about finding the God of a particular tradition from outside of yourself, an inclusive spiritual fellowship is about sharing the innate human desire to connect to something larger than yourself, by any name or description.

We all want to believe in, connect to, and serve something larger than ourselves. If you make money or fame your larger goal, you will surely be eaten up by ego. If you make your desire to show love and compassion to a growing group of people your larger goal, you will live a full and peaceful life. This sense of something larger than yourself goes by many names, including God and Higher Power and Nature. Fellowship offers an awesome opportunity to get in tune with this sense of something larger than your limited perspective by any or no name.

Fellowship reminds you that you are part of a village which in turn is intimately related to a universal life force. The African Mandinka tribe in Gambia has a beautiful naming ceremony for young babies. On the eighth day of life, a newborn is brought to the village centre. The mother holds the child before the father who whispers the name in the baby’s ear three times. No one else knows the name at this time. The child is the first to hear their name, the first to know who they are. Then the father takes the child out beyond the village gates, holds the child high above his head and tells the child, “Behold, the only thing greater than yourself.”

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From 100 Blessings Every Day

There is a story told about a man whose town was over­come by floods. A person went in a rowboat and called out to him, “Come with me.” “No, I will wait for God to rescue me,” came the reply and the man climbed to the roof of his house. An emergency rescue team sent a hel­icopter to lift the man from his roof. Again he refused. A third time someone attempted to rescue him and he refused. Finally, his home was engulfed by the waters and he drowned. When he came to heaven and appeared before the Heavenly Court, he was bitter: “God, why didn’t you rescue me?” came the man’s anguished cry. “But I tried to help you three times and you refused to be rescued!” came the heavenly response.

I believe in miracles. Not the kind depicted when the Red Sea was separated or when the sun stood still. Those are part of the religious folk history, assigned to sacred literature. I accept them as part of biblical tradition. There are plenty of other miracles too, like the miracles of love and life, of recovery and spiritual renewal. How else could you describe our journey from active addiction into recovery if not as a miracle?

Pay attention to the miracles around you. Accept God’s help in whatever form it comes.

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When you have emotional independence, you want for nothing because you have everything. Just take a deep breath and think about this. Imagine feeling so full and so completely at peace inside yourself that you have the freedom to love and be loved, to give freely and to receive abundantly, to expand rather than contract, to move forward rather than stay stuck, to live in joy rather than suffer in misery. Emotional independence allows you to be in control rather than to be controlled by the unhealed emotions of your past and will support you in being nourished and filled with faith rather than diminished and weakened by fear.

It is all there for you. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”

This relationship only requires a willingness on our part to put God before all else, “It is everything or it is nothing.”

If you believe your God only wants good for you and is all powerful, then why not?

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If you are fixated on what others did to you during the day, you will not be able to pray in the evening with a full heart. Instead, your prayers will be flushed with bitterness and do you no good. As you walk into the meeting, let go of all the baggage that you carry. By letting go of the minor (and even the major) grievances that you may have against others, you give others-and yourself-the freedom to pray. Don’t forget to forgive yourself along the way. In the slavery of addiction, such forgiveness is not possible. But in freedom, the possibilities for renewal are endless. Recovery has well taught you that lesson.

How can I simply let go of all the things that people have done to me during the day?  If I accept that forgiveness is divine and that I will be forgiven if I first forgive others, than I can Find Answers In The Heart (FAITH).

I can’t wait until evening; I have to let them go now.

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This is what I try to do in prayer. I take the words that have been given to me by those who have come before and weave them with my own, hoping that the melody I write in my heart-this love song with the Divine-brings me closer to God. Our heart and soul are filled with such melodies. I need only sing them. In singing them, they become mine.

I really do long for God’s presence in my life. Whether we are willing or comfortable enough to admit it, I really think that we all do. Such recognition helps provide meaning and direction to my life. For some, this is one of the most difficult steps in recovery. We just aren’t used to such God talk. That’s okay. You’ll get used to it. We may he afraid that if we accept God in this way we will lose self. The truth is that when we accept God, we regain self.

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You cannot find redemption until YOU see the flaws in your own soul.

Martin Buber

This is probably one of the most succinct lessons of spirituality with special relevance to recovery that you will find. You can’t get close to God (or others) until you take a good, honest look at yourself. Without such introspection, you will be unable to identify those factors that are causing the distance between you and self. Until you come close to yourself, you can’t get close to God. Drugs, alcohol, overeating, bulimia, anorexia, compulsive gambling and sex: They all keep you far from yourself. None will fix the flaws in your soul. Only a relationship with God can do that.

But don’t beat yourself up in the process. Through the process of a moral inventory, an accounting of your soul, learn to love yourself more, not less. It is knowing that all this is possible that gives us hope.

Make it part of your Step Four recovery routine. However difficult it may be, love yourself through the process.

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